Summer Confusion

Oddly enough, the summer started out boringly simple... and now, it's a mass confusion.

I'm leaving for camping tomorrow, and won't be back until Tuesday. Usually I hate camping and beg my parents not to go, but this time I actually want to(we're also bringing our dog, Odie <3 so that's part of the reason why.. also because I haven't gone camping in ages). But the problem is that me and my parents have been fighting a lot - which regularly sucks, but in the close quarters of a trailer 3 hours away from home? I'll be lucky to survive. My parents and I haven't have a normal conversation with out insult or yelling for weeks.. maybe May, I think, was the latest time. And that didn't last long - nothing good has lasted for the last two years, and it's really getting unbareable. I mean, it's getting to be almost impossible to think highly of myself when I have people who apparently love me saying I'm selfish and rude and such a horrible person. (There's other things too, all along the lines of horrible). The sad thing is I believe it entirely. Tortured soul.

Also, I think I just may have dissapeared off the face of the planet for some certain friends... and ditched them. I really didn't mean to.. it's all confusing.

But that's what happens when I have fun, lol.

Yesteday I went to Wonderland with another one of my friends - it was really, really fun. I think we went on about 19 rides - a lot of them more than once. For you people who don't know what Wonderland is, it's an amusement part kind of like Disney Land - except, although it used to be owned by Paramount, it's now lost the rights to the little kidie shows and has just normal rides. Normal, awesome rides - like the Behemoth (the one in the picture). It's the newest ride there and superdeedooperdee fun -and comfortable, even in the rain (it was raining there in the morning :P). It's so confortable, that even though you feel like your about to die going up, your not so worried, because you're dying confortably. Yup, that's how I think.

Anyways, the one thing in my life that has not screwed up yet (yet) is InVincible - although I just may have lost my latest copy of it switching computers... but probably not. (Although, the reason why InVincible hasn't screwed up is because it's inanimate and it can't.. lucky me :P). I've planned it all in jot-notes am starting to write the end, because I just can't wait (I mean, jumping out of an exploding helicopter? Spy school? Wings coming back? Sounds like fun to me!) to write it. Jamie... Jamie Pellar... seriously, is it sane to dream about your MMC? Because I have, and have a lot - mainly just about him jumping out the the plane, and getting shot at by his brother.. I'm dreaming the scenes I don't have time to write.. too bad I can't just put the video in there in place of the words, haha. That'd be a LOT faster! Anyways, Jamie Pellar/Vince has also taken life in Sims 3... where I've made him a criminal. Oooh.. fun :D

Speaking of Sims 3, it is THE awesomest game ever! I don't use the cheats (unless I need something, like a beautiful house.. but usually I just marry a rich sim) which in the Sims 1 was almost impossible.. but I love this! I'm not much of a gamer person, so I don't have much to say, just it's awesome and lifelike and... er.. I love it, simple as that. :D (although it did randomly screw up and delete my games.. but my sister was on when it did that so she could'v done something).

Anyways, I should finish packing. I'll update later, hopefully with something more interesting than the tragic life of a teen.

S a r a h

P.S. I would just like to say that...

I WON MY SOCCER GAME!!!!!!

First game I've played in that we won! And I was beginning to think I was bad luck... :D I did a ton of amazing kicks (like a pro defencer!) and helped the goalie save a goal... (not to mention got hit in the leg, stomache, shoulder and knee, and got tripped, fallen on and the other team stomped on my feet with cleats :( but still!) WE WON! Did I mention the amazing kicks? Uh-huh? Well, just add another amazing onto them.. I passed the ball to the person who assisted the winning goal.. and got the ball away from their star player...

I rocked. Even after a day at Wonderland - and was SO tired :P

(Oh, and also we had an 8-year-old on our 12-14-year-old team.. who was soo adorable, but helped too :D)

Back To.... WRITING!!!

Finally, I'm back on track. It's my goal to write at least 800 words a day, and so far I'm having no trouble doing that (though it is still freezing down there, and I have to wear a thousand layers of clothes... when it's 30 degrees celcius!) and InVincible is at 16,200 words right now. Yesterday I jot-notedly planned the rest of the story, and I think it'll be about 120,000 words - though I really want to break into the 150's.

Here's an excerpt of what I wrote.

P.S. this is an extreme rough draft - because the NaNoWriMo writing style worked for me (otherwise it's hard to write because my inner critic is a beeper) so please don't judge this or think I'm a bad writer or anything. Please. (I'm a little bit more insecure about this piece because I was really trying to get a guyish look on things.... lately Vince has become somewhat girly).

InVincible

She even insisted on walking me home.

“This is where you live?” Our backup for tailings, a tall apartment building with relatively low security, admitted our access.

“Yes.”

“And your parents are what?”

“Never said what they were.”

“So tell me.” I was trying to avoid looking in her eyes but she caught me, and I couldn’t look away.

“Dead.”

She looked shocked and I almost liked it – it was hard to find something to shock Wings. I’d only seen her four times, but each time she’d been so used to weirdness and adaptable in any situation, I’d actually spent some time thinking about a way to surprise her. But I’d never admit it, just as I would have never admitted my parents were dead – even if it was only to me. That was private. She hadn’t needed to know, but now she was looking at me and trying to share my grief. I’d made a mistake telling her, opening up, and it was partially her fault. Still, I needed to fix it.

“They’re dead, to me.” I tried, then as she opened her mouth to prompt me with more questions, “it’s too complicated to explain.”

“Okay.” Relief flooded my veins, and I pulled out the old fashioned key which would have no use on this door. I faked realizing this, and dug around in my empty pockets.

Wings just stared, trying to find more words. “Who’s apartment is this?” The questions started again.

“My brothers, but I forgot my key.”

She looked worried.

“It’s ok, we hid one around here just in case.” A smile lit up the dark space. “But I can’t show you where. My brother would kill me.”

“Oh.” She frowned, “Is it Paul?”

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Paul, is he your brother?”

I decided to let her have it, even if it wasn’t true, just to end the questions and get rid of her.

“Yes, goodbye.”

“Bye.” She turned, then turned back to me, smiling again. “I knew it was Paul because he has the same jaw line as you and he looks like he could kill someone.”

I had to admit, I was surprised. Not only about the similar face shape Wings thought we shared, but the idea of him killing someone. She definitely wasn’t wrong about his abilities, but one thing bothered me.

“Do I look like I could kill someone?”

She smiled, as if her answer was good. I wasn’t so sure she knew what the ‘good’ answer would be. “Nope, your too nice, and your arms aren’t as thick. Paul could strangle you to death with one arm.”

She left, but I stood there for a few moments before heading down the fire escape. Her face was still on my mind, burned into my eyelids. She didn’t know that you hardly needed any muscle at all to strangle someone, but nonetheless she thought Paul was stronger than me. She thought I couldn’t kill someone.

I geared up into a slow run as I wound down the street leading to the warehouse. It was an insult, I was sure, to tell a trained killer he didn’t look like he could kill someone. I could kill anyone. I could kill her, although for some reason I didn’t want to do it. I’d had plenty of opportunities though.

But what about our faces? I’d never looked hard enough to compare my looks to anyone else, hardly even cared about them. But Paul, it was plain to see, was pretty good looking. Stocky, constant 5 o’clock shadow, and deep dark eyes made our boss literally beg him to go on cash. For the sake of the Mass, he’d tried, but the amount of stupid, flirty girls he couldn’t stand had made him quit before he lost his mind. I’d never had any girl look at me twice, which I took to be a very good sign. But Paul’s looks were something to be dreamed about in your utmost weirdest and nearing girly thoughts. Wings thought I had a piece of those? That was a compliment – but if I accepted, what would happen?

George opened the door for me. His hair was wet with water, and soap covered his face. “So, I heard you’ve gots a girlfriend.”

I ignored him, but Peter had caught on to what George said. He whooped, then yelled “Little Vince has got a girlfriend!”

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do!” Leddie laughed. My face turned red, and I rapidly tried to control my emotions. This was not the behavior of any of the Bishops subjects, and definitely not the Mass’s either.

I rushed away to my room, still struggling to be indifferent. I hesitated before opening the door, my unnatural sixth sense feeling something my conscious mind had not. I opened the door, ready for anything.

A hand came out from behind the door, grabbing my face and banging my head against the doorframe. I struggled to stay conscious, the hours of training at the Bishop’s school kicking in after their long dormant sleep. Immediately, I dropped to the ground, rushing through the steps of kicking the legs of my opponent – who cares who it was – and getting back up. But he was ready for that, pining me to the ground the moment I dropped. The move was a simple one, but it was hardly protective and once caught, hard to get out of. But I knew how. Spitting where I hoped a face was, I struggled until the hand on the throat came free. In a flash, I was standing on my bed, ready to jump on the recovering attacker.

It was only once I’d pinned him down, I realized it was Paul. He gave me a curt nod, blood and my saliva dripping down his face.

“Good move there.” He said. “But I was ready for the drop. It’s too dangerous with trained men.”

I nodded and released my hold on his neck - slowly. Paul didn’t make a move to continue the fight, so I let him up.

“Don’t let this go to your head. I was being easy on you kid, you’ve still got much to learn. Watch me and Frank practice sometime, there’s new moves in the higher levels.”

Even though they knew why I had never advanced and understood, maybe even admired my thinking, everyone knew I was a weaker fighter. I have Paul a nod and he turned to leave. Then he turned back. “Don’t ever let girls get in your way. I won’t let them in our way.”

He left, and I sat down to think. I didn’t want Wings to get hurt – sure, she was annoying and a little too inquisitive for me, but she was also the beginnings of a friend, something I didn’t know anything about, much less had ever had. But what about Paul? I doubted he’d never met someone like Wings, someone you could be a true friend with, if you let yourself. Paul would never let himself. Had I? Was I already too far gone to save myself?

And if I was, what would happen?

S a r a h

Vancouver Pictures Part 1

More to come soon!

Sarah

P.S. The mountain is Mount Baker, I think, visible from almost everywhere in Vancouver.